The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
