so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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