nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
