Me too!
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
