i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
