i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
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