I wish I could punch you in the face.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
