He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Randomize
