i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I just want nice things and good sex
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
whose parrot is this?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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