Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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