Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
