my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
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