I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
