Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
