Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
