You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
