Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
