So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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