This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
