He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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