You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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