Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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