is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
