Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
