Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
you are never too drunk for berry picking
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize