I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
you mean i was at the winter classic?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.