Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.