This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."