It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
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