when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Randomize
