I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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