okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
