yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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