Don't make out with my wife yet
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize