talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize