Three words: puerto rican gang bang
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Life without a bra equals bliss.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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