btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
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My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
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That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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