My hair reeks of homosexuality.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
