Well apparently he's into motor boating.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
