Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
You peed on a flamingo?!?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
