He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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