playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
