Kiss
Puke
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
