Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
