I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Randomize
