If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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