I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
