so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
