The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
