One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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