Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
