Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
