You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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