I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
