wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
