so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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