Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
