I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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