if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
God I need to hump something, right now.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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