woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
