its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Hello my rib-scented angel!
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
