In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
she smelled like a LAN party
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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